The Promises of Fallen Trees
by Taiven
Summary: Promises shouldn't be made if they cannot be kept. Dean knows this better than most. [Set sometime in the future.]


**The Promises of Fallen Trees**

She knew the rocks were slippery because they were wet, so she was glad he was holding her hand. Her mom always warned her not to run around the pool's edge because it was wet and she might fall and crack her head open. But she knew it was okay now to hop from rock to rock, across the river and the little fishies that swam passed beneath her, because he'd catch her if she slipped.

He didn't seem afraid of the fish, and he didn't seem to mind that his feet were getting wet as he stood in the water. He never seemed to be afraid of anything.

"Dean?"

His eyes were focused on her feet as she prepared to make a big, long jump. "Yes?" he replied, his voice rumbling across the sound of the rushing water.

"I'm tired of this trip. It wasn't very fun." She jumped, keeping her balance by pin wheeling one of her arms to the side. "Not at all."

"I know, princess," he said. "I'm sorry you didn't like it."

She was near the other side of the river but the path of rocks she had been following suddenly stopped. He picked her up, her legs swinging in the air before she was plopped down on the ground. She giggled as the long grass tickled her ankles, reminded of how she had played in the park with her dad last month; when he had swung her around and around until she was dizzy and she couldn't stand up right.

He took her hand again and they began to climb a gentle slope, re-entering the cover of the forest. She cranked her head back and looked up towards the tops of the trees. They were so tall she could barely see where they ended. At the cabin she had spent a lot of time staring out of her window at the trees. She liked how they had all swayed in the wind, all bending the same way at the same time, like a dance.

"They're so tall…" she mumbled, slowing to a stop. He looked down at her and then followed her gaze. They stood still for a moment, but then he was tugging her arm and she was following him through the woods.

It was the first time she had walked for so long, but she didn't mind that her feet were beginning to throb. She liked the forest. Usually she was told to stay indoors or in the car. Even at school there was a thick brick wall that surrounded the playground. But here, walking through the forest with Dean, there was so much to see and wonder about. She didn't know where to look or what questions to ask.

To her right, a pair of squirrels chased each other, their bushy tails darting through the air as they ran in circles and scurried up tree trunks. When the wind blew through the forest it rattled the leaves, the noise sometimes as loud as a passing train. She remembered hearing that same sound when she had arrived at the cabin, but then it had been dark and Dean had not been there and it had frightened her.

"Can you make me a promise?" she asked as they came across a fallen log that blocked their path. It was enormous like the others, but it seemed smaller now that it was lying on its side. Plants grew around and on top of it, some even growing from within. A large, white mushroom stuck out of its side like a giant light bulb. It almost didn't look like a tree, lying like that on the forest floor, covered in splotches of different colours. It looked sunken.

"What promise?" he enquired.

She frowned, struggling to climb over the log. The bark crumbled beneath her palms. "Promise me that you'll never leave again."

He was silent. She watched him step over the log slowly. Carefully. Like he didn't want to wake it up.

"Do you promise?" she prodded, looking up at him as they continued onwards, walking side by side, hand in hand. Above the sound of crunching nettles beneath their feet she could hear his slow breathing.

"I'm sorry I left, princess," was his reply. "I didn't want to."

"Then promise me you'll never do it again."

"If I could make that promise and keep it, I would."

Her frown deepened and she tried to think of some way to convince him. A bushel of bright blue flowers distracted her. She asked Dean to pick one for her to give to her mom, but he frowned when he got red on its soft petals. The paint was all over his hands and shirt because he had been painting earlier. He asked her to pick one for herself instead, crumpling the flower he held before throwing it away. She chose the bluest one.

"If you don't promise, I'll tell you to never come back," she spurted out as they continued their walk. She had heard her dad threaten Dean like that before. Only once before, when someone had broken into her house and had tried to hurt her mom. She had been told to stay in her room, but she could still hear her mom screaming. And then something else screaming. And then her dad and Dean screaming. They had been shouting at each other, using words like 'monster' and 'unsafe' and 'risk' and 'quit'. Her dad had yelled a lot, had used those words, 'never come back', and then Dean had left.

"I was sad when you didn't come to pick me up from school," she said quietly, pulling her hand from his grasp, preferring to walk by herself. She noticed some of the paint had rubbed onto her skin and she scrubbed at it. "The man who picked me up instead of you was mean and stupid. Mr. Meanandstupid, I called him. He didn't laugh or sneak me sweets in the car to eat, like you always did. And he didn't play dolls with me when I asked him to. I missed the funny voice you always give Ms. Button." She held back a smile, thinking about it now.

"I missed playing dolls too," he said.

"Liar," she mumbled, her eyes focused on her purple shoes as they rose and fell. "You hate playing dolls, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have left."

"Sometimes people have to leave. Even when they don't want to."

She stopped walking. "You didn't want to leave?"

"I would have never left you, princess, if I didn't think it was for the best."

That made her feel a little better, though she didn't understand why it was for the best. "They scared me," she said, running her fingertips over the flower`s petals. "The men at the cabin. They had weird eyes. I didn't like looking at them. They were all black, like holes in their heads."

Dean sighed and then he was crouching beside her. He placed a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face upwards. She noticed for the first time the lines forming around his mouth and at the edges of his eyes. She had always been jealous of his hazel eyes. They reminded her of the forest. Hers were like puddles of mud.

"Don't cry, princess," he told her, and she realized that tears were flowing down her cheeks. "I'm sorry that Mr. Meanandstupid brought you out here. I know you didn't like the trip and that those men scared you and that they didn't let you out of your room. Not once. It's because they didn't know how to have fun."

She grinned. "You showed them though, didn't you? You painted and did arts and crafts and you even made firecrackers!"

He smiled too, that familiar crooked smirk. "I sure did. Those firecrackers were loud, weren't they?"

She nodded, her eyes widening. "_Really_ loud. I covered my ears, though, just like you told me to. But I wanted to see them!" She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, making sure to pout her lips like her mom always did when she was upset with her dad.

"I know, princess. Next time." He gave her arm a squeeze and stood up again, grunting with the effort. She furrowed her brow, realizing that he still hadn't promised her.

"You have to promise or else you can never come back!" she repeated, pointing a finger up at him.

He let out a gentle scoff. "You're a stubborn one, aren't you? Just like your father." The corners of his lips were still turned upwards, so she knew her threat had not made him mad. It was just like when she warned him before to stop working or else she'd lock herself in the bathroom. He always seemed like he really wanted to give in, rustling her hair with his hand, but then his eyes would turn sad as he explained once again that a lot of people were counting on him; that he had to do right by them. She didn't really know why it was his job to help so many people.

Dean looked sad now too. He wasn't smiling anymore. She knew he wasn't going to make the promise. Not now.

"I can't promise I won't leave again," he said, confirming her thoughts. He walked a few paces to the side and stopped. She watched as he slowly lowered himself to the ground, sitting in a pile of dry leaves as he leaned his back against a tree trunk.

She scratched her head, closing the distance between them, still trying to negotiate. "Mommy's okay now. I know that's why daddy got mad at you. I know that's why you left." She scuffed her shoe against a pebble. "It wasn't your fault."

"It _was_ my fault." He shifted his legs to get comfortable, the leaves rustling noisily. "It was mine. Your dad just wants you both to be safe, and I promised to…" He took another deep breath as he trailed off, resting his head back, closing his eyes. "Well, turns out I'm not that great at keeping my promises."

She chewed her lip, wanting to make him feel better. He looked so sad. "But you found me. Mr. Meanandstupid brought me here and you came and found me when I wanted to go home. I can tell my dad and he'll forgive you."

"It's not that simple, princess," he said, opening his eyes again, staring out into the forest. "But I'm glad I found you in time, and your dad will be too. He'll be… He'll be so relieved." He lowered his head, a strange noise coming from his throat. He looked like he was about to throw up, and she wondered if he had eaten something awful. Maybe he had caught a fish in the stream and had eaten it raw. Like those things they served in that yucky restaurant. Sushi, they called it. She had never liked sushi. Her mom ate it all the time, though.

"Sushi's yucky," she said aloud. "Don't eat it anymore, okay? That's why you get sick."

He raised his head and stared at her. He looked confused, but then he burst into laughter. Then he was coughing. When his body stopped shaking he ran the back of his hand across his mouth and said, "There's _one_ promise I can keep. The only one."

She crouched on her hunches in front of him. She didn't care that the edges of her dress dragged in the mud. Her mom would be angry with her, but the dress was already dirty. The men at the cabin had never allowed her to wash it. She tilted her head to the side. "What's the promise?"

He reached forward and took one of her hands in his own. He rubbed his thumbs against her skin, as if he was trying to remove the red paint from them. But he only seemed to make them redder.

"I promise…" He swallowed. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

"But you promised me that a long time ago," she protested. "You said you'd never let anyone hurt me. You said it was your job to protect me. You even told me you'd protect Ms. Button too."

He smiled, blinking slowly, dropping his hands. "Yeah, I know, princess."

She didn't understand, but before she could tell him that it wasn't fair, she heard a shout behind her. She stood, twisting her head over her shoulder. A tall man was sliding down a steep hill meters away, using the tree trunks to keep from tumbling down.

She grinned, happy to see her dad after all of this time. And was that her mom standing on top of the hill? She waved to them. She wanted to go home so badly, even if it meant going back to school.

"Dean, my parents are here," she said, turning back. "We're going home."

The man was sleeping, his head lolled to the side and his mouth slack. "Uncle Dean?" She leaned over and poked his shoulder, but he didn't stir. She supposed she would have been tired too if she had been playing all day. The men at the cabin had also been asleep when she and Dean had left, their eyes closed, hiding the horrible empty pits behind them.

She smiled down at him, and taking the blue flower she held in her hand, she laid it on his chest, over a splatter of paint. She giggled, thinking of how funny it would be to take a picture of him now. He reminded her of one of her classmates who liked to sleep in the sandbox during recess.

She would have to make him promise another time. When he woke up, she'd make him promise then, to never leave again. She was sure she could convince him to do it. Just like she always convinced him to play dolls. And then she'd ask him the question that had been bothering her for a while now. She'd ask him why trees didn't pick themselves up again after they fell. She was sure he knew the answer.

He always knew the answer.


End file.
